1 week on

Ponderings....

It's been a week since I had my first real scene and scenes. And I still have the bruises as well as the vivid memories. And that's where this writting is going. Mental and physical.

I've come to the realization that I need the mental fuckery just as much as the physical. But does anyone else suffer from the same problem i have? It's always one sided. I cant seem to find the right balance of both at the same time. Either the mental fuckery has me totally on edge all the time dying for the physical realese, or I have the physical side of things galore and major lacking in the mental fuckery.

My time of evaluation after last weekend and the emotional ride it has been, has me feeling more real and open and honest to myself, than I've ever felt before.

The saying...Fuck me with your mind and your body' so exactly what I need.

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