To answer a question...

Theres no denying how my new submissive self has opened me up to a whole knew world. One that I find addicting and all consuming at times. I've heard it described as sub frenzy. Now to be honest as much as being isolated in a country town restricts my experiences and ability to fully explore, I am however grateful that it has helped me not to go into full sub frenzy. I know full well I would have if I'd had the means.

There is so much that I'm yet to learn, but one thing I do know well is myself. I know most of my strengths and weakness of character. I know how my mind works, good and bad. I know how my body works along side my mind.

But I am also aware that theres so much more for me to learn about me, my thoughts, my preconceived ideas, my desires.

So to answer that all too common question...what am I looking for.

Honesty
Acceptance
Understanding
Integrity
Loyalty
Trust
Strength
Freedom
Total submission





And eventually Love.. im cautious with this one because it comes in so many forms. And what I thought love was and how I see it now is miles apart.

Love used to be a selfish thing for me, jealous and possessive. Self serving and destructive. But I've learnt that it's not about me at all, its about seeing someone you care about being the happiest they've ever been. About bringing out the best in them no matter what. About lifting them above what they think they are capable off. About putting someone else above yourself.

I want that person that I can fully give my whole self too. Submit to without holding back.

And of course I want the kinks, and all the trimmings that go with this lifestyle. I want the pain and the pleasure, the new and exciting, the rewards and the discipline...why else would I be here.

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